Two days after chemo, whats going on?

I love how someone posted on my facebook page that it was great that I am writing about everything.  Truth be told I am a TERRIBLE writer.  So yes I am trying to journal my experiences BUT you will have to grin and bare any gramma mistakes and look beyond any writing I do under the influence of some medications. PS After I wrote this spell check would not work so since its 3:30 am I decided to leave as is!!

So Chemo was Tuesday along with an iron fusion, I was prepared to get sick on Tuesday evening like my first round, I took meds to prepare me and I felt fine.  I woke up Wednesday, still just taking some Zofram just in case I ate breakfast washed all the boys bedding and did dishes with the assistance of my good friend Rita whom took on the task of caterpillar hunting in Mr. C's room after the fiasco of my Red bringing a collection of caterpillars in the room and dropping them I would not enter the room.  They had informed me that one was not accounted for.  Rita was my hero and found and disposed of that one last 1/2 alive critter.  Please note I hate critters and why my little one thought he should bring a collection in I am not sure he says he is learning about them and their life at school so maybe Mrs. S is to blame for this and it was merely a science project that he felt would get him extra kudos with his favorite teacher at school. Needless to say room is cleaned and they are all gone!

So at lunch time I was still feeling good and we even stopped at Jimmy Johns and got sandwiches (not sure why I am craving their turkey with lots of tomato still) it's almost like pregnancy cravings and a few things I normally love are kind of yucky to me like my beloved skinny popcorn and I have no desire for chocolate or candy.  I did lose 4 lbs during my last chemo cycle according to my doctor but honestly my appetite was pretty good and I still worked out several days at the gym and lets be honest I have about 20 lbs saved up from the winter that can be spared.

After lunch its on to my neurablasta shots I get these to help promote more white blood cell counts its like a booster.  Prior to getting my first one I tried to neogiate with my oncologist that I did not need these shots.  He simply smiled and said well if I was doing the normal 3 week regimen of this chemo that he would think about it but I do a 2 week cycle which means my body has less time to recover from that poison and so the shot is a MUST.  The past 2 I have just run over to Mercy Festus to have done since its a quick in and out and I was starting to panic since my insurance was being uncooperative about approving more.  Finally this week they called me so now these shots will be mailed to me and some of my nurse friends will get to give them to me in my home.  Sorry other friends not letting you all try out these on my belly.  They just hurt for a second but about a week after having them you experience bone pain mainly back in your back bone as things start to happen.  For me that was a little tough I am healthy for the most part and without pains and aches I handled it though there are worse things.  (Below is me right as I am getting the shot in my stomach)

So after my shot I tried to sleep and rest but finally fell asleep in the evening and slept good until 3pm which is surprising since its been about 14 hours now since I have taken any anti naseau meds and so I am wondering should I take some or not before I go back to sleep or since I have not had any sickness just be grateful that the Lord is blessing me! Most people say that the first few days after chemo you should keep your anti naseau meds going fairly regular to be safe you just don't want the sickness to come on as once it comes on its harder to take hold of.  I can tell I had iron my energy level is up from last time.

Tomorrow (Friday) I go for another iron fusion then 3 more next week along with a few other appointments, every time I think my calendar is clearing up and I can just sit and relax and paint they put more appointments in but the positive of the iron fusion is why I am doing that I don't have to try and take the pills that I hate and who cares if I am eating red meat or not!

Well I better get back to sleep I had to get up and eat with my steroid pills.  These first few days after chemo I have to keep a list of all the meds I take - for someone that only really took a thyroid pill every day and rarely even Tylenol this pill popping or in my case chewing as I hate swallowing pills is new.

Hoping for another wonderful day given to me right from my God whom I know is watching over me and protecting me through the ups and the downs of this battle!!

Round 2: Chemo vs Lisa

Today was my 2nd round of Chemo and it was strange to be a little more anxious before this infusion than my first.  That anxiety had to do with my port, on my first treatment my port surgery was the day prior and so they left the tubing taped on me so the oncology nurse would not have to go in through the port site.  Today would be the day they would have to go through the port site. In preparing for the infusion, you cover the site with lidocaine about an hour beforehand to numb it for the needle insertion and then cover your port area with saran wrap so the ointment doesn't soak through onto your clothes (hence the reason you see plastic on my chest).  The thought was still unnerving wondering if I would feel the needle or would I be completely numb.

So before each chemo infusion I have to visit with Dr. H, we go over each day in my prior cycle, we talked about the things that happened such as nausea, diarrhea, headaches, bone aches and then we discuss anything new. Finally he measures my mass!  This measurement he does is just by feeling the area, so its not exact but he can feel the mass pretty well.  Two weeks ago it measured just over 4.5 centimeters, this week he estimated about 2.5 centimeters... so the poison is working it made the mass shrink some which truly was the best blessing today!!

This is a picture of me before my chemo waiting to see my oncologist, I have been wanting some funny shirts to wear to my appointments and to the gym that bring humor to cancer. Although there is nothing funny about having cancer, the best medicine for something like this is humor, so I will not dwell on the bad and ugly but will have fun with it all.  My friend, April made this shirt. April has a little business going, check out her Etsy site. If you order from her and you are local, you can put "local" in the shipping section of checkout and do a personal pick-up so you can meet April. She does a variety of projects and has inspired me over the years as she raises her children on her own, after the tragic loss of her husband.  Projects like this help her to make a little money on the side for her and her three kids. https://www.etsy.com/shop/InspiredDesignsForU?ref=hdr_shop_menu

Once I am finished with my Oncologist I head to the Infusion area.  This is the second week they have placed Carla and I in a corner! I am starting to get a complex.  First thing was, my port had to be accessed, Nurse M told me not to worry and she had that thing in quick and best of all it was painless.  First they draw my blood to run tests. In order to get the chemo infusion, I have to have good blood counts, so that takes about 15 minutes to get the results. My white blood cell count looked great but my iron levels were still low.  So today I received all my chemo, then some iron.  I do have to make several trips back in for iron infusions. Over the next 10 days they require that I have 5 iron infusions within a 2 week period.  And for those that know me well, they said the iron will give me MORE ENERGY!!!! That is scary, I mean yes this week I am a little blah with meds but, last time on my off week I had energy so maybe I will be super-energized!!

During chemo today, Carla and I played Scattergories ...and I lost! She made up many things I am sure, but it was funny that some of our off the wall answers were the same (our crazy minds think alike).

This last picture shows a special card/note I received from my trainers daughter. Each chemo day, I try and bring something special with me to lay on my table or read and Emily had just given this to me the day prior and it was the perfect piece to take along for today's adventure.

I thank EVERYONE for your thoughts and prayers today, this evening has been much better than last time. I am controlling my meds a little better this time. I just finished eating some wonderful chicken noodle soup, my good friend and mentor Sherry Flader made. She whipped up a very large batch of chicken noodle soup for my rough days. She then placed many portions in freezer bags, so I am stocked up and it was YUMMY!!

This next week I have many appointments, every time I think it will slow down, those cancer people fill my schedule back up. So tomorrow is my Nuerablasta shot, Friday is a iron infusion, Monday another iron infusion, Tuesday genetics appointment and then yet another iron infusion, Thursday Caleb gets a cast change and then I will have my last iron fusion right after Caleb's appointment. 

I will keep you all updated on how I feel this week! Lisa

All about the hair...

A few weeks back when I had my biopsy done I remember Hannah asking me what they were looking for in the tissue samples, I told her several things and one was cancer.  Later that evening she said, "if it's cancer will your hair fall out?" I said I didn't know.  When I had my visits to my oncologist after being diagnosed it was one of the first things I asked and I was told YES it will fall out the drugs they give you for breast cancer make it fall out it can start at day 7 and through about day 16.  This week I have been seeing more and more hair as I showered and then as I brushed my hair over my sink I would see more and more hair all over the sink.  I am a planner and since cancer took over my life just 4 weeks ago I can't plan anything.  If you are a planner like me you will know that is one of the worst feelings, however, what I can take control of just a few things and I decided that I would not allow my chemo to control my hair loss instead I would be the boss of this!!

Earlier this week I knew it was starting to come out and decided that Thursday night at my friend's house we would get rid of my hair having a shaving party.  She decided to grill dinner, I decided to bring an ice cream cake and make it a REAL celebration and the kids were involved too because when will my kids ever get to cut my hair again.

After food and cake we headed outside for the main event, now keep in mind I just had about 7/8 inches of hair cut off 2 weeks ago in preparation for losing my hair, so at the start of the evening I looked like this.

 

 

The kids seemed excited to help with this process and the idea of letting them go crazy on my hair was terrifying but I felt like this fun party idea would make my hair loss easier for them.

First we put my remaining hair in pony tails so the kids could just cut off the pony tails and then we used the clippers to make it even shorter.

Tonight wasn't easy but nothing with cancer is really easy but I was able to plan it and do it on my own terms which is something I can't do right now.  Its not easy looking and seeing my hair gone and knowing I won't have any for a significant amount of time but there are certainly worse things in life than losing your hair and the kids had a lot of fun with the cutting and shaving.

So now it's gone what will I do?  Well I don't think a wig is quite me ... maybe I will look at a wig at some point but at this point I don't think its my thing.  I have a few hats and scarfs and hope to add some more to my collection and just wear different looks.  This week I learned how to make some neat tshirt hat wraps that I plan to try out and hopefully I fill get a few more hats/scarves so I can change my looks all the time but the hats I love are not exactly cheap so I am going to have to get creative and make some myself. 

Thanks to my friends for making the evening fun, with my friends, family and GOD anything is possible.  PS. Please pray that my bone scan results come back clear this is one of the last scans I needed right now.

The PORT

I like to negotiate at times, so I thought I could convince my Oncologist of a few things, #1 that I could have all my chemo through IV's and not get a port and #2 that I really did not need the Neuralasta shots the day after chemo because I am healthy.

Let's just say I didn't win either battle.  Monday, April 11th, PORT surgery I was good until I got back in the surgery area and then I started to panic.  Thank goodness for great nurses and my very calming surgeon.  I like to back out of things last minute so about 5 min prior I told them I couldn't have the surgery.  They knew my tricks pretty sure I was not the first person to try that line on them and so they put me out before I could get up and run.. Yes I have been known to get up and run. 

I woke up and my first words to my nurse was "When can I eat and drink?" She was my new best friend when she brought me a diet coke to drink.  I am pretty sure she thought I was a little nuts especially when I showed her the antics I had been up to at the gym that morning and asked what she thought about me doing them the next day. Warning my trainers version of this is much prettier looking than mine and B's version, we lack a little grace and need to work on our form a tad. 

After my PORT surgery we went to Fuzzy Tacos for some great food, the surgery had me sore I mainly just felt like I slept on my neck weird and yes it feels weird having something stuck in my chest.  I am sure I will get used to it. 

Between the CALL and the treatment plan.. the wait..the questions and the shock!

So I have cancer, now what?  As a planner as soon as I found out I felt that I needed to get appointments in line.  My doctor gave me a few breast surgeons names and I asked around some I initially thought that I would have surgery right away, but after meeting with several doctors I found out that was not the recommended treatment plan for me.

On March 18th (Friday) I already had appointments set up for the following week with doctors, the first doctor I visited gave me such a sense of calmness I just loved her calm tone and that she was my age with children the same age as my two children.  The location she was in was so personal and not huge like the hustle and bustle of a hospital location.  I knew the evening after meeting with her that she was the one for me but I had to at least check out others.

Before I was told I had breast cancer I thought all breast cancers were the same.  Who would of known there are so many different types/factors and that 2 women can have breast cancer and it c an be a completely different type. 

My cancer is IDC meaning it has now advanced outside the tissues of the milk ducts.  I am ER+ which is Estrogen positive and PR+ which is Progesterone positive. So basically my cancer gets signals from these hormones or such, after my chemo/radiation and surgery I will have to me on medication for5 years to block these receptors.  My mass was originally said to be around 3.5 cm on the mammogram findings, with all the pathology reports and scans my cancer has been staged at a IIb since it showed up in two lymph nodes.  Last Tuesday my mass was measured at roughly 4.5 cm.

The recommendation was to do chemotherapy prior to surgery to kill any cells that might be floating around in my body but not showing up on the CT scan and to hopefully shrink everything in my lymph nodes so I would not need any of those removed.  After chemo then surgery comes .. what type is up to me and then radiation.  Needless to say for a planner having the next year of your life in question between treatments and surgery is very hard.

Then don't forget my kids... telling them was hard but I read some information on how to approach the topic for different aged kids and that really helped.  I also refuse to let them see me down, they have questions like "Why does God let bad things happen to good people?" and its hard to know the right answers but I told them God has a reason and they must not be angry with him.

The day my life changed...

March 17th, 2016 at 6:30 p.m. my doctor called.  He knew I was away on my girls weekend but I told him to call me as soon as he knew something.  I wasn't sure I was going to get the call that night, all afternoon I had fretted because I knew the results were in but my doctor was at a lecture.  We prayed he would return to the office and call me with the results.  I wanted to know one way or another so I could get on with my trip. 

There were the words "Lisa sorry to let you know but the results came back and you do have breast cancer." I didn't cry, I wasn't shocked I had prepared myself.  I wanted to know what Grade, what stage, what did this mean?  I wrote down a few things he told me and the doctors he recommended that I follow up with next.  Being away from home I had several calls to make to explain the diagnosis to family.  My bff was driving and torn over the results, I simply explained our trip would not be a pity party we were going to have fun for the weekend. 

We were just at the Texas border and after an afternoon of anxiety over the impending call I was now starving.  That is when we spotted Fuzzy Taco's (which I can say is our new addiction now), 

I am not sure the reality of what my diagnosis was really had set in but I was determined to not let it ruin my weekend away!

Mammogram Day

It was Tuesday, March 15th and the day of my mammogram.  As I drove to the Breast Center I didn't have a care in the world my mind was on the trip I was taking later in the week with my bff.  I was unaware of how the next few hours would really play out and potentially change my life.

My appointment was at 9 am and the radiologist Ms. P took me back for my mammogram it was a breeze, I couldn't figure out why women avoided them or complained about having them done I mean yes your boobs get squished in the machine and you endure a few seconds of uncomfortableness but really it was a breeze.  But, I was guilty too of avoiding the mammogram, not because I was worried about having one done but mainly because I just never made the time to do it. 

After the mammogram the radiologist had me sit in a waiting area while she and the doctor reviewed the slides.  I was oblivious to what really was going on at this point and only now after the fact do I look back and realize how they were already concerned.  I noticed the radiologist come out and go to the secretary, she bent down and whispered something to her (now I am fairly certain she was asking her to get my doctor on the phone). 

Next was the ultrasound, again I was oblivious to the fact that my radiologist had brought in another technician with her.  This lady, Ms. J stood on my left side and was chatting with me well now I realize this was probably to keep me from looking at the screen and realize what was being looked at.  The radiologist left after a few minutes and in came Dr. B.  She was a middle aged lady that got right to the point she looked at some things quickly then asked me to look at the screen and said this is what normal breast tissue looks like and then moved the wand to the area I had been concerned about and said this is what your lump area looks like.  When I looked on the screen I thought wow that area looks huge!

Dr. B recommended that I have a biopsy of the area right away.  When she said right away she wasn't kidding they wanted to do the procedure in about 15 minutes.  My heart started to beat fast and I was in a little bit of a fog they placed me in a waiting area again so they could prep the room.  My anxiety started to kick in full force, not over why they wanted to do this biopsy this fast I really hadn't even thought about that but more over how the procedure would be done and the needles the pain...

I called my bff because I knew she could get there asap and she dropped everything and rushed to my aid.  Of course I hadn't eaten breakfast that morning and just hadn't prepared to have more than a simple mammogram done.  They set up the room and called me in and explained the procedure, not sure I heard a word because my eyes were focused on all the needle objects and how big they were.  Right as they were ready to start I sat up on the table and said "No I can't do this!!" Thankfully my bff knows how to talk some sense into me she prayed for me and insisted that I could do it.  Finally after some encouraging and a towel over my face so I couldn't see what the doctor was doing I agreed. 

I seriously had myself worked up and it was not that bad, the initial needle to numb the area felt like a small prick but after that I didn't feel any pain just the pressure as the samples were taken.  They took 3 tissue samples from the area on my right breast then a sample from my 1st lymph node.  The doctor showed me the samples once they were taken they looked like little rice pieces floating in water. 

The procedure was done, the worst part was the pressure they applied to stop the bleeding once they had that under control I was ready for another mammogram to make sure a marker that they had also inserted into the area was in place then I was ready to go.  Ice packs shoved in my bra I walked out of the center in a little shock.  Two days of waiting for results. 

Later that day my doctor called me and explained more on why they wanted to do the biopsy, he said they had found a mass that was roughly 3.5 cm with weird edges (not the word he used) both of these factors had them concerned it was cancer.  He did not sugar coat it for me and I am so grateful for that since I was able to prepare myself for the worst.